Alone.

I can’t anymore. 

I feel so utterly alone, even when I can easily recognize the people around me that are helping. There is far more to accomplish than I can complete without armies of help. My husband is either obsessing over work or healing from a horrible illness and then just layer on top of that that I don’t even feel like I have a husband anymore, so I just ache for that kind of a relationship and then I feel badly, thinking that I should be more evolved or that God might want me to stay and I should align my will with His, but I don’t know what His will is and it’s not fair to make me guess!!! 

I am about to actually explode!!!

But instead I’ll fall asleep, because my sleep disorder makes me need ridiculous amounts of hours, and then I’ll feel guilty for not feeding my husband on his birthday, or even baking him a cake. 

Awesome. 

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